Friday, April 10, 2015

bagels 1 & 2


the app is coffee meets bagel. the title offends my sensibilities and creative, albeit restrained, preferences. but gloria and i make a pact to use it, and i read the reviews and decide, what the hell. i download it. it is almost midnight. 

the profile attaches to my facebook profile. the idea is that i am now a cup of coffee and the app will set me up with daily bagels. i suspend my disbelief. i become a cup of coffee. i fill out my profile. name, age, current city, ethnicity, height, religion, occupation, education. then categories like, i am..., and i like..., and i appreciate when my date.... each time i fill out a piece of information for the latter three categories, i earn three coffee beans. i do not know why i want coffee beans.

i am matched with my first bagel before i fill out my profile. this seems a flaw in the system. there is a flaw in my bagel. he is 37, works in sales, adventurous, well-traveled and well-rounded. he likes to be spontaneous. he likes it when his date has a sense of humor, can have an intelligent conversation. his photos are random; in one, he seems to be in the outer corridors of an old cathedral, in another, he is clearly at a wedding, in the next one he is making a douche-face over the heads of two blonds, in the other he is alone lounging against the side of a couch in a poorly-lit hotel room. he is vanilla-bean white man. he is too much older than me. i am 100% sure i am not his type. i pass on bagel 1. 

bagel 2 is revealed to me at 12PM on friday. he is good-looking, holding a dog in his first photo. i click through to his profile. he is my age, 22, a research assistant at a nearby university. he was probably in my same graduating class. he is silly but serious, an all-around entertainer, a history buff. he likes going on adventures and discovering new things. he likes his date to be able to out-quote him in movies and to engage in sophisticated conversation. all his photos look like they were taken at parties. it looks like he may still identify to a great extent with the frat boy dream. his profile seems ordinary. we do not have anything in common besides our alma mater, and i am reasonably sure i am not his type either, so i pass on bagel 2. 

coffee meets bagel (cmb) provides coffees with one bagel per day at noon based on user-provided preferences in religion, ethnicity, and age range. i narrow down my preferences. i will no longer be satisfied with any bagel. there are bagels all around me every day from which i could choose if finding any kind would do. this app promises a lot, and so i decide to aim to find the perfect one. 

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