basically, cmb continues to provide me horrible matches. to elaborate on each and every bagel would be a project requiring a lot more energy than i am willing to expend on a venture which has ultimately led to more frustration and annoyance than diversion or entertainment. however, i will take the time to write on a few. i lost count soon after bagel 10, because cmb started to send me extra bagels each day.
one bagel has a profile photo of him wearing a giant banana-shaped hat. his profile is very specific, which is interesting. he says he is serious but silly (i hate this description, why do so many people use it?) and random, that he likes to try out cafes (same as me, ok) and that he will eat anything, that he plays the saxophone (have not seen this before or since tbh), and driving around PCH at night (me!!!!!! i like this too!!!!!!). but then i get to his section labelled i appreciate when my date and it is so specific that i am reasonably sure he has a specific person in mind. he likes when his date has an ingenious fashion style and color matching combination! (what?), is not afraid to be her quirky self, and is honest enough that she often gets close to crossing the fine line into bluntness. i pass on this bagel...
at a certain point gloria shows me a screenshot of her history of bagels and i find a few i ask her to give to me when she offers. i end up liking a couple of their profiles but have not connected with any of them.
i was traumatised a couple days ago because cmb presented me a bagel whom i know in real life, went to high school with and who went to my uni, and whom i am facebook friends with....something they say they do not do, they say they do not match you with your own friends and yet??? why????????????????????????????????? it also showed me that he had already liked my profile. i passed for several reasons, least of which being that i am not actually interested in him. if i were i have some other ways to contact him??? i am highly suspicious that anyone at cmb actually knows what they are doing at this point tbh
yesterday i liked one of my bagels and we connected, but he has yet to say anything to me. i liked him mostly because his profile was quite specific and not boring and he works with young kids so we have that in common. also his photos were cute. but i am not really invested in talking with him. he may feel that way about me as well, judging by his lack of reaching out.
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gloria mentioned in her last post that she managed to convince me to use tinder again, this time with strict parameters, because that was my condition for agreeing. i thought i could do it if i knew that it would end soon. the thing is, the first time i used tinder late last year, i did not make any lasting connections and i actually ended up meeting someone in person who was more interested in me than i was in him and i have learned from that mistake. and also i had a reappearing mystery boy who had made it quite clear he was over it back then who started talking to me again out of the blue in february and again last month only to disappear again. i did not meet good people on tinder when i used it.
i agreed this time, though, because i was bored, because i was frustrated with cmb, and because part of me feels really ready to make connections with people. i have not felt that way before. it is new and kind of overwhelming. but i still did not expect to find this on tinder this time around. i thought it might be fun to talk with strangers, but then again, i didn’t actually expect to.
within a day i was surprised by how many people were messaging me first -- i am always surprised, actually. i was more surprised to find that they were really nice. i did something dumb...i got interested. there were two who maintained conversation, others were spotty and eventually stopped.
the second day on the app, i messaged gloria and i told her i didn’t think i would be deleting my account the next day. she said she was feeling the same. what did we get ourselves into? i’m more than likely leaving the country in august... i’m very soft, i get attached, and things matter to me. what did i get myself into? but i could not have anticipated what happened. i am trying to take things as they come and not to expect anything else. but what can i do? i want what i want and feel how i feel... and things happen as they happen.
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